Memories… yes I am recalling memories; sometimes-in high voice. Nothing remained for me that I might fear to lose. The vision is now conspicuous and everything is clear. They are talking about her beauty, magic and excitement, about her eyes and other things… Do you know! It is the same old gate where I joined her world. I still remember that very clearly "her eyes are her gate to herself" to life of eroticism, disorder and destruction. Did I be heedless to that extent? No, but I, like the others, when I joined her false world, I was seeking a woman, a genuine female and femininity behind that veil of magic, illusion and phantom. I was seeking a genuine love; a warm soul where I can rest to it; and we can cushion our hopes and agonies and sleep in peace. I did not think of an inordinate breast, a comfortable bosom or deep kisses.
When I heard the news a bout her suicide when they found her body inside a room in a five-star hotel, a black naked body as if she was created now; uncovered, except of remainders of mortification and obscenity, I became so sad… I wept not because she left me a message, which they found, between her fingers over her chest, apologizing to me, repenting her one and only love and asking forgiveness of her disloyalty for me, but because she really dug some good things in my inners. The moments we spent at the beginning of our life before leaving her, are still graven in my inners. Moreover, when I lost those faithful tears against my will, they were really a gratitude for these moments of happiness – the only in my life – which we spent together.
However, I wander if we shall recall such memories especially after she departed forever to the hell together with all her world, her eyes and other things
