There was a little boy who was in kindergarten and he had to go to the bathroom really bad. the teacher said he couldn’t go unless he said the alphabet first. so the little boy went ahead and recited the alphabet
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ" the teacher asked "wheres the P?" and he said "running down my leg"
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Bad Habit
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly As and a couple of Bs. However her teacher had written across the bottom:
"Sally is a smart little girl but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try which I think may break her of the habit."
Sallys dad signed her report card putting a note on the back:
"Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
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To shave or not to shave
A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day when she reguested that he shave his beard.
"Oh Michael I like your beard but I would really love to see your handsome face."
Michael replied "My wife loves this beard I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again in a nice little voice.
"Really I cant" he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"
The girlfriend asked once more and he sighed and finally gave in.
That night Michael crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife woke up somewhat felt his face and replied "Oh Jeffrey you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!"
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why you live
An 80 year old man recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests the doctor said he was doing fairly well for his age.
A little concerned about that comment he couldnt resist asking the doctor"Do you think Ill live to be 80?
The doctor asked "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?
"Oh no" the man replied. "Im dont do drugs either!"
Then the doctor asked "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
"No my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sunlike playing golfsailinghiking or bicycling?
"No I dont" the man said.
Then the doctor asked"Do you gamble drive fast cars"
"No" he said.
The doctor looked at the man and said:
Then why do you even care about living to 80
hope you like it … best wishes 