he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and asks him "Every time you order a shot you look in your shirt pocket. Why?" The man replies "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good I go home."
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesnt seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down I can help. First lets make sure hes dead." There is a silence then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says: "OK now what